The light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long
I would give anything these days to be able to slow time. This week was about all I could take. Friday we were still waiting on the pathology results even though they had been promised by Friday. Sunday, I started my Taiwan shift to get probe working and was working during the day to get all of the data we needed from the handler.
Meanwhile, Fozzy seemed to get worse. It’s really difficult to talk about Fozzy’s quality of life because the swings from good day to bad are large. Some days, he follows me around the house hoping for food scraps. Other days, he walks away from the family into a corner and wonder if he’s trying to tell us. I know, whether I want to or not, I will always make excuses for him. I won’t just admit that it’s time.
Tuesday we finally got the call. It came at 4:30 while I was trying to get some much needed sleep so the details are a little fuzzy. The bottom line was not good though. He has osteosarcoma and she was 99.5% sure that it was in the spleen as well. At this point, we are talking about his life in weeks, not months.
We made an appointment with our local vet to discuss care and what to expect. Also, partially to give them all a chance to see him before the end. They have been with him through so much and he’s such a special dog. I couldn’t imagine not giving them an opportunity to say goodbye. Our vet took so much time to discuss the decision making process with us. He told us the decision was never easy and it would always feel like we did either too soon or waited to long. He shared stories of his dogs who had passed and reminded us that they are always a part of you.
Tamisha came in to see him along with Kelly and Janet from reception. It seemed everybody wanted to see him. Tamisha even got teary as we talked about his prognosis. They have all seen him though so much and he really is a special bear.
So now we wait and hope that the end comes quickly when it’s time.