Baby Astrid
I really thought that the birth of this baby would completely relive me of my stress (assuming everything went well). I completely forgot about the anger. As I assumed, my sister gave birth at home again; against all medical advice. Thank the Lord, Jesus, Mohammed, Allah, Buddha, Shiva, whatever that the baby is ok. My sister sees this as a huge confirmation that the first birth wasn’t her fault. I find that as illogical as a drunk driver killing their best friend then driving drunk over and over again to prove it was a fluke. I never asked her outright so I wouldn’t put her in the awkward situation of having to lie to me; and me in the awkward situation of having to act like I believe her. My mom did ask and was thoroughly lied to. The damage there may be worse.
I’m so angry at her I can taste it in my throat.It consumes me right now. Our relationship has been altered in a way that may not be repairable. I couldn’t tell you why it bothers me so much. It’s her life and I have no control over it and no responsibility towards it. Except that I do… I mean in my mind, this mindset is everything that is wrong with our country and our society. We rely too much on lawyers and politicians to tell us what’s right and wrong, acceptable and unacceptable, instead of what’s illegal. Her behavior should be unacceptable to her community and we owe those children to say something. It IS our responsibility.
I feel like a coward for not speaking up for them. It’s so easy to preach our responsibilities from the sideline but it’s so much harder to step up and lead by example. Bless you Astrid, you may be a small miracle.
Baby Astrid