The View from 58-inches High

Some days the world feels so small. Today was one of those days that made me feel like the center of my own world. I should start by saying that the last few days have been a mental struggle. I’ve been burring myself in my work, really attacking it with an urgency that is difficult to explain and completely unsustainable. I’ve also been thinking a ton about people I find incredibly interesting who don’t really know I exist. There’s something demoralizing about wanting to know so much about somebody and having them care so little about you in return. I suppose you could say it’s like the adult version of being left out of the popular crowd. I was also feeling the pressure of being selected as “high potential candidate” and all that may entail.

I’ll spare the details of the day and just say that I discovered one of my other coworkers is also a “high potential candidate”, I lead my first work bike ride, and I spent an hour teaching my employee how to not over write code. By 3:30 I was done and was headed out for some impromptu beer with coworkers.

We had a great time talking and drinking and I felt much better after an hour and half of this. When we turned to go, somebody mentioned that there was another work group behind us. When I looked back, I saw one of the “popular” kids and he waved at me. It’s stupid. I mean it sounds even worse to write it down but I felt accepted.

Then, to add to this miracle, I drove over to MJs to pick up a helmet and some decals and when I got out of the car I saw Colin and JM. Colin is super cool but also very excepting and easy to be around. JM I find fascinating and completely exclusive. He also spent a good 15-min talking to me! I usually completely trip over myself when I’m around him and his friends but I was already feeling so good that I wasn’t nervous at all and we had a great conversation.

The universe did me a solid today. When I think back on this day there will be a look, a wave, and a nod that I remember vividly. On my way back from JMs, I passed a bunch of higher ups in my company as well and I really reflected on how small my little world is and how much I appreciate knowing somebody almost everywhere I go.