Pandemic – Day6
I stood in line to get into the grocery store for 30+ minutes yesterday. I never thought I would see that in the US. While everybody was generally polite there was definitely an underline tension in everything. Like mental band about to snap. I was not prepared for how mentally challenging it would be to not fall prey to the panic. To move slowly through the store, to smile and say thank you. I kept losing track of Brian who, at one point declared that all the food was disappearing, even though it simply wasn’t true. I felt it too and had to focus on stopping myself from being overrun by panic as well. My whole body wanted to cry, scream, hit something but all I really felt was numb.
At work, the whole team was settling into working remote. In theory everything was going well. The team stated multiple times that they were fine and, while inefficient, able to work. Underneath it all though I have one employee home with his wife and 4-kids, one packed in a small house with his parents, wife, and 3yo son. One is caring for his elderly parents at their home in San Antonio, and one is a young millennial living on his own clearly missing social interaction. While I appreciate them holding it together I’m also deeply concerned about their mental health and I’m worried about how much I can reasonably ask of them right now. Next week, I also take on 6 more employees and I am in no way prepared or enabled to do this. I worry about my own mental health as well.