Archive for the ‘Brian’ Tag
Funny Stories and Bike Drama
My back has really been hurting these last couple of days. It’s so difficult for me to say if it’s muscle of spine since the muscles are totally related to how your spine moves and feels. I tend to think that it is just muscle pain but it makes me nervous. The good news is that it is very low; much lower than my L2.
Yesterday was nice and relaxed. Brian came home early and decided not to go into the office today. The mood was light and fun for the first time in a while. As we were cooking dinner, I mentioned a conversation where Shontell tried to argue that pint glasses were 12-oz. Brian wondered if pint-glasses were actually 16-oz or if they held a little more so that you could fill it with 16-oz and still walk. Being engineers, we had to try it out. I filled a pint glass almost to the very top and it measured 16-oz. My plan was to drink it but after I poured it to the top I started giggling. As I giggled the water threatened to spill which made me giggle harder. Giggling turned into laughing which turned into waters spilling all over me. Brian was almost in tears laughing over the whole ordeal.
Later, I was trying to crawl up the stairs on my butt. I sat down on the stairs and Bennett immediately sat down next to me. He gave me this adorable look like “We got this mommyâ€. Brian started up the stairs and tried to pass when Bennett got all excited and tried to block him. It was so cute!
Today I went to MJ’s to get fit for a new bike. When I got there, the guy who was supposed to fit me passed me off to another sales guy who didn’t fit me at all. He looked over the measurements of the two bikes I was looking at and just talked to me about them. I had already done all the research so he didn’t really tell me anything new. He did tell me he didn’t think the Parlee would fit being 2cm taller than my last bike. We decided on the Madone only to have him check inventory and find they don’t make it in my size anymore. I left really upset. When I got home I realized that that Specialized has been expanding their line of short woman’s bikes and they sell frames. So worst case I buy the frame at BSS and build it with my discount at MJ’s.
2-weeks
Two weeks down, ten to go! I’m still stuck at home though my only real problem is that my brace is too uncomfortable to wear for more than 3 hours at a time. I should feel lucky that I’m not in more pain but instead I feel completely held back by the fact that somebody was too incompetent to design my brace correctly. Something about that is more depressing than if I were laid up in bed, unable to move. I feel like so many people have been cheated by this poor design.
I feel so sorry for what this has done to Brian. I know it kills him to see me this way. I hate that that he has to take care of me like a child. I’m torn because I want to be able to help and take the burden of him but I know that doing so too early may leave me limited for my whole life. Everybody keeps telling me to slow down but I don’t know what that means. Life doesn’t slow down.
The Accident
It’s been 1 week, 23 hours, and 30 minutes since the accident. It’s difficult to comprehend everything that has happened in that time. I should have been keeping a journal the whole time but I was not exactly mobile. Here goes my attempted at capturing the events.
The Accident
It all starts with the bumper of a white pickup truck. A white pickup truck is going to hit me. I was traveling straight and he was coming opposite me making a left turn across my lane of travel. I remember him stopping instead of turning and thinking that was odd. I waited, and waited as I approached the intersection, finally deciding that he was letting me go. He never saw me. I remember thinking I needed to stay up right or things were not going to go well. Then I was on the ground, rolling; and everything hurt. My back was excruciatingly painful as I waited for the EMT. A few times, I thought I might pass out it was so painful. When the ambulance arrived, they rolled me onto my back and that helped the pain some. I knew that I could move all of my extremities so I was not worried about my back being broken; I thought it was just my muscles. I didn’t know you could break your back without being paralyzed.
The Hospital
I was admitted to the ER where they evaluated me and took my neck brace off. At this point I was worried about contacting Brian and I was trying to work out what impact this would have on my life. My knee had started to hurt very badly and I knew something was wrong. Early on, I was silly enough to think I might have a bad case of bursitis. Brian called me from the airport and the ER personnel let me use my phone to talk to him. It was nice knowing he was on his way and I wouldn’t be alone. After a bunch of X-rays and a CT-scan, I was met by a neurosurgeon. This was probably the most scared I ever was. He explained that I had broken my back. I had a compression fracture of the L2. I wasn’t able to breathe until he said that surgery was not required. He explained the brace that I would need and that I would have to wear it for 3 months. At this point I’m thinking that I can wear the brace to work and probably even do trainer rides with it. I really had no idea. They admitted me into the trauma ward, where I would stay until my brace arrived.
Saturday (day 1)
Until the brace arrived, I was limited to complete bed rest. I ate in bed, I peed in bed, I did everything in bed. As horrible as it was, I kept thinking “at least I’m out of here when the brace arrives”. Overnight, my leg continued to swell and hurt. It wasn’t until the afternoon that I was able to get somebody to look at it. When the news came back, it wasn’t good. Not only did I have a broken back, but a broken leg too. I was scheduled for surgery on Monday, which meant I was not getting out of the hospital until Wed, maybe Thursday. This is when I officially lost it.
Sunday (day 2)
Brian’s mom got on a plane and we both breathed a small sigh of relief. Things calmed down and I started to take stock of the situation. Most of Sunday was spent on the phone and resting. Brian got his mom settled into the house late in the afternoon. With her watching the dogs, he was able to spend the night since my surgery was first thing in the morning. It was nice having him with me. Nighttime was the worst. Sleeping was so difficult since I could not move myself.
Monday -Wednesday
I was out of surgery by 9:30 and spend most of the morning in a drug-induced coma. My friends started showing up around 3:00 to see how I was doing and help when needed. Brian really needed some relief from being by my side so this gift from my friends was priceless. I finally was fitted for my back brace in the afternoon but had to wait for the neurosurgeon to approve the X-rays before I would be given the ok to get out of bed. The approval came Tuesday and I was so happy when the PT came to show me how to use my walker. It was harder than I thought I was concerned with how quickly I tired. I stopped the pain meds on Tuesday with hopes that I would spend Tuesday night at home. I had a ton of friends with me all day to help the time pass. Unfortunately, I was not to go home until Wednesday. I checked out at 10:00 and could not have been happier. I knew things would be very difficult but was up for the challenge (I hoped)
I have since realized how difficult this will really be. I cannot get out of bed by myself, which means I have to wake Brian up every time I have to use the restroom, or need a blanket, or whatever. The daytime is better and I’m much more independent. I still can’t cook anything or carry anything. I can’t lift anything heavy or bend forward. I’m learning new ways to do simple, everyday things. Right now, having a normal life seems very far away and my bike feels even farther. I miss moving and doing. My brain works far too fast to be held up like this.
Tour of Austin
This weekend was the Tour of Austin Bike race. Hopefully, what I will remember most about this race is coming in 2nd on Sunday and not the complete emotional breakdown it almost caused me trying to balance my home life, work, racing, and volunteering 3 slots at the event!!
Friday was the prolog time trial and, as much as I wanted to take this seriously, I just couldn’t. I don’t have TT equipment, and I don’t TT well. I didn’t really give it my all because I wanted to be fresh for the crits. I got 6th out of 9 ladies.
Saturday we were at the driveway again. I was hoping to place better in this race, but I made the mistake of eating a large sandwich too close to the race. I knew when I lined up that I was likely going to be fighting the urge to vomit the whole race. I was with the main group for a few laps when I started to feel bad. We came up on our second prime and I made the mistake of not sprinting with them, thinking they would slow down like they usually do. Not this time. I chased for 2 laps before figuring it was better to cut my losses and fall back to the group that was coming up on me. They rode the race like a typical cat-4 race. A few women doing the work, a couple hard efforts followed by a period of slowing down and letting everybody catch back on. I attacked as much as I could and worked at the front to keep the pace high hoping to drop some of the women who were saving themselves for the sprint, or at least tire them out. It came down to a pack sprint anyway. My second big mistake of the night was underestimating the tail wind and not starting my sprint with everybody else. I passed most of the field in my sprint but couldn’t quite pass the one girl I really wanted to pass. I didn’t even make mid-pack with 9th place finish out of 14 women who lined up. came in 3rd in the sprint for my group, but there were 5 cat-4s in the lead group.
Sunday I stayed in bed and rested all morning. I picked up bagels and lox at CM before heading to my shift at registration. I took it easy and ate early. Before my race, I ate a few clif blocks as well. I also made sure to stay hydrated. I wasn’t expecting a great race after the day before, which probably made me more relaxed about it. When we took off, I quickly got on Kim’s wheel and tried to stay on either her, Kelley, or Betty’s wheel. My goal was to just last. Kelley started to give up early and I had to go around her a few times. After a few laps, I realized that Nadia, Gracie, and I were the only 4’s. I knew based on yesterday that the other 4s would not work together to catch us. After a few more laps, there was an attack and I went around Gracie to chase it. I caught on and Gracie didn’t. Then it was just Nadia and I. Nadia did more work than I did, as it just wasn’t in my best interest. We passed the other 4’s with about 5 laps to go. In retrospect, this should have been a signal for me to start attacking, pulling, and protecting Kim more. My position was pretty sealed. I played it safe and let Kim fight her own battle. In the end, I didn’t expect the sprint to start so early and got popped off the back of the sprint. I came in about 5 seconds behind the leaders for 2nd. A great showing for me but I wish I had given more now.
When Monday rolled around, I was itching to race again. I had promised Brian I would tend to my housework though and I also had a ton of work to get done before the Portland trip. That combined with the iffy weather kept me from lining up. I hope I can store this enthusiasm for the next time though!!